I often get questions from readers about how to keep excitement burning in a long-term relationship that has gotten a little stale over the years. Each situation is different, but there are certain key reasons why all relationships can grow stale- predictability, routine, and sameness. And the only ways to combat these dire enemies of your relationship is with their total opposites- unpredictability, spontaneity, and mystery. It doesn’t matter how long you’ve been together or how well you know each other, if you can keep elements of these three in your relationship, you’ll be able to maintain excitement over the long haul.

But how is it possible to always be unpredictable and spontaneous? The key is not to strive to do so continuously (that would make it less predictable and spontaneous wouldn’t it?) but to pick your moments carefully for maximum effect. That’s what I call “hitting the high points.” In other words, most people only remember the strongest, most emotional times of a relationship, whether they be good or bad. The good moments are obviously the “high points”, while the bad times are the “low points”. You’re objective is to have way, way more high points than low points. No one remembers the routines or daily grind, but everyone remembers the high and low points, so make sure to utilize your high points to maximum effect.

So how do you make sure you always hit the high points? For starter,s plan on doing something out of routine at least twice a week. Plan a date night, go to the movies or a new restaurant, or an overnight stay at a hotel with a hot tub. Surprise your honey now and then… doesn’t have to be expensive, could be flowers or chocolates or a nice card. Remember your behavior has to change a bit once you get the girl. Even though I would never recommend taking a new date to a restaurant on a first date, once you have the girl it is entirely appropriate to those things you never did when you first started dating. Most guys get it wrong- they lavish a girl when they are first dating, then become couch potatoes when they are a couple. As readers and students of this website, you will do the opposite. You will make the girl prove herself first, then reward her for her loving behavior.  Don’t skimp on “value added” activities like exotic vacations or romantic getaways, these are the exact kinds of high points that your woman will never forget and will love you for. Remember, hitting the high points is like adding money into a bank account- it is an investment in your relationship.

Once your lover is filled with memories of great times every time she looks at you, every time she is waiting on the next adventure or romance enthusiastically, every time she comes home not knowing what to expect, you can be sure that you’ve done a great job of hitting the high points. And then your relationship will be much, much smoother and long-lasting, I promise!