Having a relationship come to its end is a very painful emotional experience that almost everyone has to go through at least once in their life.  So let’s say your lover has left you, how do you handle the situation?  You feel like your one true love has left you and you’ll never find anyone as beautiful, loving, or great, to replace the void.  Right now all you can think about is getting your true love back. So what should you do to end the pain and misery as quickly as possible?

Interestingly enough, the best thing you can do is face the pain. The quicker you face it, the faster it will be gone. Your relationship is broken, which is why you are broken up, but your initial reaction will be to become nostalgic and glorify your lover’s strengths, completely forgetting the things they used to do that drove you crazy. In a way, the attempt to get your lover back is based on ego, you are hurt by rejection. You have to decide whether or not you want that person back in your life or not.

The fastest way to end the pain is to face it, and that means you have to cut off all contact with your ex, until you are able to think about them in a non-romantic way. Think about it, your lover left you. They don’t want to be with you. If you try to beg and plead and convince them to come back, and they feel sorry for you and do come back, how long will that relationship last?  If you had to beg them to come back, they know they can leave you again at any time in the future and you will be there begging for them to come back again. No, you have to break the cycle and if they do come back it is because they want to and it is on your terms.  By going No Contact, you are forcing them to face their decision and feel the loneliness and pain that that decision will cause them. By avoiding contact, you make them wonder about you and what you are doing, creating the impression that you are getting along fine without them.  At that point, they have to make the decision whether their life is better with or without you. And if the loneliness of being without your company makes them scurry back to you, you’ll be in a better emotional and mental state to decide if you even do want to take them back or not.