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Earlier I posted about what you should do when faced with a breakup. The basic premise was that you can’t force someone to want to come back to you, you just have to let them go, live your life, and see if they eventually want you back.

I recently ran across some dialogue online from the movie Swingers. If you haven’t seen Swingers, you’ve got to see it, it’s an absolute classic. In the movie, Mike, played by Jon Favreau, is a wanna-be actor in LA, who just can’t get over his ex who dumped him back in NYC. Mike stays at home all time slumped in the corner, miserably depressed over his girl. His buddy Rob, played by Ron Livingston, is trying to get his buddy to finally forget about the girl.

Here is Rob’s advice to Mike, straight from Swingers. Enjoy!

Mike: Okay, so what if I don’t want to give up on her?
Rob: You don’t call.
Mike: But you said I don’t call if I wanted to give up on her.
Rob: Right.
Mike: So I don’t call either way?
Rob: Right.
Mike: So what’s the difference?
Rob: There is no difference right now. See, Mike, the only difference between giving up and not giving up is if you take her back when she wants to come back. But you can’t do anything to make her want to come back. In fact, you can only do stuff to make her not want to come back.
Mike: So the only difference is if I forget about her or just pretend to forget about her?
Rob: Right.
Mike: Well that sucks.
Rob: Yeah, it sucks.
Mike: So it’s just like a retroactive decision, then? I mean I could, like, forget about her and then when she comes back make like I just pretended to forget about her?
Rob: Right. Although probably more likely the opposite.
Mike: What do you mean?
Rob: I mean at first you’re going to pretend to forget about her, you’ll not call her, I don’t know, whatever… but then eventually, you really will forget about her.
Mike: Well what if she comes back first?
Rob: Mmmm… see, that’s the thing, is somehow they know not to come back until you really forget.
Mike: There’s the rub.
Rob: There’s the rub.