The best way to build attraction with a woman is to build a bridge to her emotions. Women don’t respond rationally to attraction, if anything, they may reflect back and try to rationalize the attraction they are feeling, but attraction is always emotional NEVER logical.  I’ve already mentioned several characteristics in men such as confidence and charisma that create attraction in women, but in this article I will focus on developing DEEP attraction, or in other words a deep emotional connection with a woman. This is the kind of attraction which is long-lasting and not surface deep.

In order to gain this kind of connection with a woman, you need to let her know more about you than just what meets the eye. Here is where an absolutely essential ability is required- the ability to tell a good story. Yes, the quickest way to building emotional connection is by telling a good story.  A good story is one which builds suspense and intrigue, while highlighting attractive qualities that you possess, such as spontaneity, adventurousness, initiative, drive and creativity. In essence without telling the woman that you are all of these things, you SHOW her by painting a picture with a rapport building story.

What should these stories be about? They could be anything that portray you in a unique and compelling way. It could be about your travelling adventures or a time where you overcame some adversity. Whatever you do, make sure you don’t brag- your main goal is to stir emotions with a gripping yarn and show (not tell) that you are the kind of guy who has excitement in his life.

Sharing a story also enables a very powerful human response, called RECIPROCITY. It has been well known by marketers for years that humans are wired to want to give something back to someone who voluntarily gave them something. This is why you see so many offers in the mail where you are sent something for free with the hopes that you will eventually subscribe to the offer.  So when you share a story, it triggers a natural human reaction in the woman to share a story back with you. She will feel like she is compelled to tell you things about herself, which will make her feel closer to you. She will rationalize that she must really feel something for you if she is telling you so many things about herself.  Remember, share a story, and then ask the woman, “So do you have any stories where you did something spontaneous like that?” Watch her open up, and you are starting to be on your way.

Here’s another tip in addition to the above- followup several bold and intriguing stories with a story that makes you seem vulnerable.  This is called the vulnerability story. This paints you in a more well-rounded three dimensional picture. If the woman has been intrigued by your previous stories, she will respond emotionally to your tale of loss or difficulty. Women are hardwired to be nurturing for those who are hurt that they care about.  The point of this story is to let your guard down and let the woman see a softer, more sensitive side to yourself. Women want to be in a relationship with a strong, confident, yet sensitive man. They want a leader, yet someone who will understand them and with whom they are safe with with their emotions.

Important note- Regardless of what you say, never, never EVER lie to your woman. I’ve seen several “pick up” gurus talk about different routines to open a girl in conversation and get her interested.  These gurus advocate using rehearsed story lines, whether or not they are true or not, simply because they have proven to work.  For example, one is called the “jealous girlfriend” opener, where the guy will approach the girl and ask for a “female opinion” about the dilemma his friend has, whereby his friend’s new girlfriend discovered pictures of an ex and wants her boyfriend to throw them out. The girl will give her opinion about what his friend should do and since this is an intriguing story involving drama and relationships, it will usually lead to a deeper conversation. What happens, however when two weeks later the girl asks again about the “jealous girlfriend” and you have no idea what she’s talking about? Then you have to follow a lie with another lie. The whole thing is just pointless and stupid. Unless all you want is superficial relationships, NEVER lie to a woman. That way you won’t have to remember to cover your tracks.

Learn to tell a good, TRUTHFUL story and you will find that you will start to bond and connect with woman on much deeper emotional levels. Good luck!