It is a common occurrence that as the months and years go by in a relationship, both partners become so used to each other that nothing is new anymore and the relationship becomes old, boring and stagnant. Soon, the couple finds that they are evolving separately and growing apart as the relationship does not evolve with them. How do you avoid this kind of relationship rut?

First, it is essential to understand that nothing in life is static. In other words, the one constant in life is that everything changes. Both of you will change as you grow older, your interests will change, your jobs and careers may change, your life situations may change (i.e. having kids, taking care of elderly parents) etc, etc. Therefore, the most important thing to remember is that your relationship is constantly evolving as well and has to change too. If you are constantly hanging on to the past and what your relationship was like when you first met, you’ll be in for a world of hurt because the both of you are not longer the same people and no longer in the same situation. In other to survive, relationships must evolve- they must constantly strive to grow, instead of remain static in the past.

So how can you ensure that your relationship is growing and not remaining stagnant? The best way is to find new activities that both of you may be interested in and explore them together. Create yourselves a challenge by assigning yourselves moderately difficult tasks and goals that require both of your cooperation to complete. For example, start both of yourselves in on a new workout routine with the goal of adding 5lbs of muscle in the next month, challenge yourself to learn a new skill such as sailing or kickboxing, or challenge yourselves to create or build something such as a home based business or tool shed out in the backyard. It doesn’t really matter what you do, just as long as it involves the following three attributes:

1. Your activity requires participation of both partners and teamwork
2. The task involves a fair amount of challenge that can be realistically surmounted, and
3. You have deadlines and objectives attached to your project- this will give you something firm to work towards and help you keep focused

Once you are done with one goal or project, take some time off and then start planning your next joint-activity. In the process, you will find that you will both be learning new skills and finding new hobbies and interests, improve your communication, grow closer as a couple, and evolve together.

Life is an ongoing process of evolution and change. Find ways to grow and evolve as a couple and your relationship will evolve with you, as opposed to remaining stagnant and holding you back.