We also hear the word “happiness” bandied about as the ultimate goal of our existence as if it were a blanket concept that meant the same to everyone.  But really, what constitutes happiness and how do we actually get it? Many people think that the key to happiness is to make as much money as possible, or at least that making more money will make them more happy. However, current research shows that money plays a much smaller role in our happiness than many people think.

Daniel Gilbert, a professor of psychology at Harvard University, states in his book Stumbling on Happiness, that money is only a source of misery when we do not have enough money to pay for our basic needs. However, when our basic needs are met, there is very little additional happiness to be gained from increases in income. In fact, if our basic needs are indeed met, the next greatest predictor of happiness correlated to finances is the comparisons we make to the perceived financial status of our peers. For example, if we make $100k a year but live in an ultra-expensive neighborhood populated by millionaires, we will perceive ourselves as being poor and our personal happiness will be negatively affected. Likewise, we could only make $40k, but if we live in a neighborhood populated by vulnerable individuals receiving social services, we may perceive ourselves as financially well-off and so will feel better about ourselves. So, in essence, if you want to be happy with your finances, live within your means and forget about keeping up with the Joneses.

Interestingly enough, a much better predictor of personal happiness is the amount of sex we have, rather than the amount of money we make. According to David Blanchflower, an economics professor at Dartmouth, “Going from sex once a month to sex once a week creates a big jump in happiness.” The reason for this isn’t so much the sex per se, but everything else involved in having weekly sex with the same person- an established stable relationship, mutual trust, love, and affection. The reasoning is that if you are having consistent sex with a regular partner, then you are most likely to have a solid, loving relationship- the kind of intimacy that is absolutely necessary for personal well-being.

The moral of the story- if you want to be happy, stop worrying about money and focus more on your relationships and the time you spend on them (especially between the sheets).