You are in a new relationship and things are going well, you are starting to trust the other person more and more and feel more comfortable around them. Up to this point you have been putting your best foot forward and only showing your strongest aspects, but you do have some points of pain and weaknesses that you would like to share with someone.  Can you share them with your partner without having them see you in a poorer light and ruin all of the impressions that you’ve built up?

This is an excellent question that must be answered with great deliberation. On one hand, it is very important to have excellent communication with your partner and to be able to trust that they will be there for you. On the other hand, human nature is very fickle and the wrong impressions can and will start to erode your relationship eventually.

A good rule of thumb is to introduce pain points or weaknesses gradually. You never ever want to DUMP all of your issues on somebody. That will send them running for the hills, and can you blame them? Women have more leeway for showing weakness. Men- you have to sack up and display a lot of emotional discipline if you want to make sure your relationship works. Because men have less room for error in this regard, this post will be more focused towards them.

Since women are perceived as more fragile, soft and sensitive, it is quite culturally accepted for her to show weakness and ask for help- from her peers, from her friends and from her lover(s).  As a result, women usually often strive to have a large network of people they can rely on, networks in most cases larger than those of men. Many men are actually even more intrigued and turned on by “damsels in distress” since vulnerability is seen as an attractive female trait.

Men do not have this luxury. Women admire traits in men such as strength, courage, determination, will power, force of personality- all traits that allow no room for weakness, A man must always be measure and disciplined in how much he allows himself to “let go emotionally”, especially around the woman he loves. I’m sure many people may disagree with this, but if women were to answer honestly, they would all admit that they are more attracted to a man who takes care of them emotionally rather than a man that they need to take care of emotionally.

Men can show weakness from time to time, so as to seem human, but it has to be measured and within reason. It is ok to admit that you are concerned about your mother’s ill health, but it is not ok to say that you are fearful of the world around you and wish you were in the arms of mommy right now. This is an extreme example, but extreme examples help to illustrate points. Point is, if you are with a lady you want to keep, you need to be the strong man and learn some emotional self control.

Is it at times a lonely existence? You bet, but nothing in life is perfect. Would you rather have your woman revere you for your strong male traits and be a little emotionally lonely at times or feel even more lonely because you lost your lady’s attraction for you?

It’s your choice, but when in doubt, think about whether your actions make you seem more or less attractive and act accordingly.